SQ, Cora Mills & Storybrooke's Favorite Crack Fic
by Fanfictionsaremylife14
Summary: Just some extremely fun & (un)ordinary times between our favorite once upon a time characters. Some crazy events because we all know that Cora is the craziest woman in Storybrooke, and SwanQueen won't get be getting rid of her any time soon. Rated M for sexy times.
1. Welcome to Storybrooke

"REGINA! PUT MY MOTHERS HEART BACK IN HER CHEST OR SO HELP ME!"

"WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO, SPANK ME?"

Regina ran down the street while pulling behind her Henry's old wagon that contained snows heart. It was Cora's birthday and at the party there had been alchohol; which was no surprise to anyone considering Cora was a drunk. First Regina had drank a glass of wine, and the next thing you know she was dancing on the table with Snow White, topless. Snow had accidentily knocked Regina off the table and then Snow found her heart being run down the street in the back of a red wagon.

It was quite the sight to see, Regina running down the street in a black lace bra and a pair of skinny jeans & Snow following in a pair of jeans and no top at all. Half the town was both apalled and amused at the sight and did nothing to stop it.

"REGINA GIVE ME BACK MY HEART!" Snow screamed while frantically running to catch up to Regina as she poofed farthur and farthur up the street.

"YOU CANT TOUCH THIS! WOAHHHHHHH. YOU CANT TOUCH THIS!" Regina screamed while standing on top of the red wagon, swaying to the imaginary music.

"DONT GO BREAKIN' MY HEART!" Snow yelled at the top of her lungs, stopping to dance at her own imaginary tune before realizing Regina still had her heart and began running to catch up as Regina screamed once again.

"FIRE BURNING. FIRE BURNING ON THE DANCE FLOOR." as this was said, fire erupted from Regina's fingertips; sending her flying down the street on the wagon even faster than before.

Emma stood in disbelief as she watched the scene unravel before her, turning to Cora who was chuckling to herself. "Regina didn't even drink that much!" Cora laughed even harder when Granny came over and gave Emma a pat on the shoulder "There may or may not have been weed in the cake I made for Cora."

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK GRANNY!?" With that Emma departed, once again running after her mother & girlfriend who were topless, high AND drunk.

"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH ITS MAGGGGGIIIICCC YANNOOOO!" Regina belted out as she rolled down the street at 50 miles per hour.

"GINA! YOUR GOING TOO FAST! SLOW THE FUCK DOWN AND GIVE MY MOTHER HER HEART BACK!"

"THEY SEE MY ROLLIN', THEY HATIN', PATROLLIN' AND TRYING TO CATCH ME RIDIN' DIRTY!" Regina began, and this time there was actually music playing as she sang.

"HOLY FUCK NO!" Emma screamed in disbelief as music reached her ears.

"Should we do something to stop this?" Granny whispered to Cora, chuckling as she did so.

"Nah, it'll be good for my daughter to let go a little bit." She whispered in reply, not knowing that her daughter had somehow heard her.

"LET IT GOOOOOOOOO, LET IT GOOOOOOOO." She screamed and suddenly ran into a mailbox.

"WHAT THE FUCK." Regina let out before she flipped over the mailbox and landed on the concrete, on her stomach. Resulting in hurting herself.

"BABY!" Emma screamed as she jumped over the mailbox in some karate move that she had somehow learned.

"EMMA IT HURTS!" She screamed as she rolled over, her hands cupping her own breasts. "I THINK I BROKE MY BOOBS, OH GOD IT HURTS!" As this was screamed, Emma noticed her girlfriends bloody stomach and the tears rolling down her face.

"Shhh, calm down-" Emma attempted but was cut off.

"HOW ABOUT YOU ALMOST COMPLETELY FLATTEN YOUR BOOBS AND THEN I TELL YOU TO CALM DOWN, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP EMMA SWAN!"

Emma pressed her hands over Regina's; on her breasts. Using her magic to heal her loves stomach and 'bruised' breasts.

"EMMA SWAN DONT GROPE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN PUBLIC NO ONE WANTS TO SEE IT." Snow screamed from behind them.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PASTY WHITE BITCH!" Emma screamed back as she wiped her girlfriends tears.

"WHERE IS MY HEART!?" As soon as the words left her mouth she saw it and ran to grab it but Regina wouldn't give up that easy.

"I think its a good time to intervene, my darling." Cora spoke as she squeezed Granny's hand.

"Will do, does your noble knight get a good luck kiss before the battle?" She spoke as she looked back to Cora. She obliged and gave her a quick kiss before releasing her hand.

"STOP KISSING WOMEN GRANNY!" Ruby screamed from the steps of the diner.

"NO YOU STOP KISSING GUYS RUBY!" She countered as she ran over to Snow and Regina, slapping them both in the face and grabbing Snow's heart.

"I WIN BITCHES!" She screamed, running back to her girlfriend. Giggling as she handed the heart to Cora.

"Here, Snow." Cora stated calmly handing Snow her heart.

"WHAT THE FUCK MOM!?" Regina screamed at her mother.

"IMMA BOSS ASS BITCH BITCH BITCH. IMMA BOSS ASS BITCH." Granny screamed in glee because she had managed to get Snow's heart without much effort.

"Yes you are dear." Cora gushed before turning to her daughter "GET OVER IT, EVIL PANDA!" And with that, Cora poofed away with her girlfriend.

"Here." Emma handed Regina her blouse and she slipped it on.

"Im tired, lets go home." Regina said as she walked home with her girlfriend, wobbling the whole way.

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They finally managed to get home, incredibely fast given Regina's state. Whatever that state was anyway, her being both drunk and high.

"Emma, 'm tired" Regina slurred as they stepped over the threshold of the mansion.

"Baby, you can't be that tired." Emma tried to talk her out of going to sleep. To be honest, they had both been busy and it'd been almost a full week since they'd been able to have sex. It was driving Emma absolutely insane.

"But I 'm! Please, Em." She was begging, and Emma could tell she was tired; Regina rarely ever begged her. But despite that, she couldn't let her chance at sex get away. Emma was thinking it could be better for Regina than sleeping, considering she was so intoxicated it would make it more hightened for her.

She was pulled from her thoughts as Regina made a move to pull away, but before she could she was yanked by the arm and pushed roughly up against the wall. Soft pink lips found plump red ones in a bruising kiss, eliciting a moan from the brunette as she found Emma's tounge exploring her mouth.

Regina let out a small whimper as she found the blonde's thigh in between her own, pressed up against her throbbing core. As she moved to deepen the kiss, Emma pulled away; making her whimper once again.

"Not so tired now, are you 'Gina?" She said with a smirk; seeing she had managed to talk the brunette into screwing her senseless without actually talking to her.

"Shut up, and sleep with me. Why dont you sleep with me, shut up and sleep with me." Regina started to sing and swaying again to the imaginary music.

Emma just chuckled deeply at her extremely intoxicated girlfriend, before grabbing her hand and pulling her upstairs. "As you wish, madame mayor." She stated seductively as they made their way to their bedroom.

Regina stumbled most of the way upstairs but they finally made their way to the bedroom. Once there Emma shoved Regina up against the door and tugged at the blouse she was wearing. She was too impatient; grabbing the silky material and ripping it off of her love. She heard the 'pop' of buttons and mentally cursed herself because once Regina was sane again; she'd kill her for ruining her blouse.

But as she was pressed up against the door by the blonde, nothing mattered except stripping themselves of thier clothing; both of them eager to feel skin against skin. Emma couldn't manage to get her jeans off fast enough so Regina just poofed them away for the both of them; leaving them in only thier bra's & panties.

Emma took in the sight of her girlfriend pressed up against the door, and licked her lips. Diving in the kiss the beautiful brunette, slipping her tounge into her mouth and twisting it with Regina's. As she pulled away, she moved to kiss any exposed flesh. Moving to her neck, biting it & soothing it with her tounge, moving lower she reached behind Regina and unclasped the lacy bra.

Moving to one of the mounds of exposed flesh, she took a hardened bud into her mouth; swirling her tounge around it. At this, Regina arched into her, trying hard to catch her breath.

"Oh, Emma.. dont stop." It was breathless, but loud enough to make its way to the blonde's ears and she didn't need to be told twice. Playing a bit more with the hardened buds, she moved down her body; leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses every inch of the way.

Emma finally made her way to the lacy thong Regina was sporting ever so nicely. Taking the thin strap on her hip in between her teeth and dragging it down her leg until she was completely exposed. Gripping the back of Regina's thighs she began to kiss the inside of the perfectly toned skin, teasing her love.

"Emma." It was a single word, but it was a demand. It was the fact that the voice had been trembling that made her decide to ignore it. She was in charge, and she was going to show the brunette that it was going to be her calling the shots in this moment. She brought out her tounge, teasing Regina's entrance, sampling her.

"Emma, oh, please.." At this the blonde chuckled and looked up, locking eyes with the brunette. "I dont know what you want, Regina" her voice was low and she could see how anxious Regina was; her eyes gave away everything.

"I want you." It was a whimper, she was trembling with arousal and needed to let go.

"Where?" The blonde replied almost instantly, loving to tease her but wanting to taste her just as much as Regina wanted release.

"Inside of me." Emma had been ready, her grip had never left the back of the olive toned thighs. As soon as those three words had left Regina's mouth, Emma drove her tounge into the brunette's throbbing heat. Her tounge thrusting inside Regina as fast and hard as she could manage, tasting her love's arousal as she did so.

Regina had been on the edge from the beginning, and Emma had been right. Being intoxicated had definitely hightened everything. As Emma's tounge thrust into her she found her self releasing low moans between her desperate intakes of air; she was closer to release each time Emma's tounge thrust inside her.

"E-Emma... oh god, i-im so-" But she never finished her sentance as her orgasm ripped through her, finally finding her release. The thought of Emma writhing in pleasure like she was had sent her over the edge.

"Emma!" It was the only sound as Regina came, her scream filling the room.

Emma found nothing more satisfying than Regina's juices on her tounge, lapping up everything she could get as Regina was writhing in pleasure. She helped her ride out her orgasm, her body trembling, and then finally going limp against the door. They had never even made it to the bed. Regina leaned all her weight onto the door, her chest heaving.

As she finally found her voice, she smirked.

"I guess its my turn now, Sherriff." At this she poofed them onto the bed and made to have her way with the beautiful blonde beneath her.

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Cora sat at the bar in her girlfriends diner, watching her cook. Her daughter was at home with her girlfriend, her grandson was at a friends and she didn't have the energy to really taunt anyone at the moment. So what she settled for was watching her girlfriend.

"Stop staring at my ass, Cora." Granny's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "You'll get to stare enough later, but for now im on the job." She said shortly, leaving no room for discussion.

"But, LOVEEEEEE!" Cora whimpered, using her puppy eyes to try and get her way with her girlfriend. But Granny wouldn't budge.

"Sorry, darling. But no." Granny said giving Cora a quick kiss and walking away.

"GRANNY STOP KISSING WOMEN!" Ruby screamed from one of the nearby tables. Still hating the sight of Granny and Cora kissing, even though they'd been together for about a year.

"NO YOU STOP KISSING GUYS!" Was the reply coming from another table as she handed somone they're food.

Just then, in walked Hook and Hood. Both dressed in thongs and pink bra's, which no one ever understood but didn't question. It had become their normal attire since they had come out to the citizens of Storybrooke.

"BEST FRIEND!" Cora squeled like a 5 year old and hugged Hook, who hugged back before Hood spoke up.

"Do I get a 'hello'?" He said a bit annoyed, to this day Cora never liked him even though he was Hook's lover. Cora thought that he didn't deserve her best friend, but it wasn't her choice.

"No, you don't. BECAUSE YOUR AN UPTIGHT LITTLE BITCH!" She screeched out of nowhere and sat down, not saying anything else on the matter.

"WHY THE FUCK AM I HEARING MY MOTHER SCREAMING AT A LITTLE BITCH!?" A thick english accent screeched from behind as Zelena walked in looking confused. Ruby saw Zelena & went right back into the kitchen, Zelena was who Ruby swooned over but she was too freaked out to say anything. She also didn't know that Zelena reciprocated those feelings.

"Hook came in with Hood & you know how they hate each other." Granny said shortly before calling into the kitchen "RUBY COME TAKE ZELENA'S ORDER!"

Ruby stalked out of the kitchen nervously and walked over to woman who now sat at one of the tables. "Can I get you anything?" She asked timidly, terrified of slipping up.

"Yeah, I want you at my house tonight in something comfortable." Zelena handed her a piece of paper with her number just in case "I cant wait to make you howl for me." she practically growled this and Ruby's face went a deep shade of red. Zelena was not one to be subtle.

"BITCH HAS GOT GAME!" Cora yelled and high-fived her daughter before Zelena strut out of the diner. Making Ruby stare, and practically drool over her ass.

"IM NOT GONNA BE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS FAMILY KISSING WOMEN ANYMORE!" Granny screamed at her and laughed, walking back into the kitchen.

"SHUT UP GRANNY!" Ruby yelled angrily once Zelena was outside the diner, but once Granny walked into the kitchen Ruby got up on the top of a table and screamed.

"I HAVE A DATE WITH THE EXTREMELY HOT ZELENA MILLS!" She pumped her fist in the air and danced around until Granny came out of the doors.

"Look, dear, im happy for you but get off the damn table. Go take a break and get ready for your date." She said with a small smile as her grandaughter squealed in glee and ran into the back of the B&B.

"Seems that this could get really messed up." Cora said to no one inparticular; thinking about how wierd it was that her daughter was going to be dating her girlfriend's grandaughter.

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"Wow." Was all Emma Swan could breathe out, she was pretty sure Regina had made her cum at least 4 times in the past hour or two.

Regina crawled up her girlfriend's body, laying partly on top of her as she nipped at Emma's neck. "I'll take that as a compliment, darling." she spoke with a chuckle.

But before Emma could say anything to reply, a certain woman walked through the door in a green dress and black heels. Sporting a gleeful smile.

"Sis, you'll never- OH MY GOD CLEAN YOUR SELVES UP YOU SEX DEVILS!" She screeched in her thick accent.

"To be fair, you did walk into our bedroom." Regina said with a smirk as she fully clothed herself and the blonde next to her. "So whats up, Zelena?"

"I ASKED RUBY OUT!" She screamed happily and tackled her little sister because she couldn't contain her excitement.

"Thats great, Z!" Regina screamed happily for her sister, it had taken a while but she'd finally redeemed herself and she had been practically drooling over the she-wolf from the beginning.

"Im worried, I told her to come to my house tonight in something comfortable. I DONT EVEN OWN ANYTHING COMFORTABLE!" She screamed with worry this time "That's why I came to you, I need to borrow something sexy _but comfortable._"

"Alright, well. Get off of me and i'll get you something." Zelena climbed off of her and Regina walked into her closet, returning with a green shirt and white skinny jeans.

"Thank you! Your a life saver, Regi!" She spoke, a smile plastered on her face as she hugged her sister and poofed out of the room.


	2. My Squirrel From Hell

**Hey! **

**First off I would like to thank those who have started following this fic!**

** Also, I would like to say that all reviews are accepted and if you want something to happen in this story, feel free to prompt me! All idea's are welcome! **

**Lastly, I know that there are some errors in spelling, abbreviations, etc. This is because i am posting from an ipad and do not have a program with spell-check or anything. Soooooooooo onto the fic! **

**Enjoy, darlings!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Olivia ?**

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Snow sat in her small apartment, hair sticking in multiple directions and scratch marks on her face. She had recently brought a new pet squirrel home from the park since Regina had decided it was okay to use her last pet squirrel as a target. But this squirrel was nothing like Sebastian, she was sure this one was possessed by satan.

_Flashback_

_"Welcome home, Pedro!" She screamed happily as she opened the door to her apartment. But her happiness didn't last long, for Pedro had jumped off her shoulder and onto the fruit bowl in the middle of her counter. _

_"Someone is eager- No, thats freshly picked!" Snow had swiped the apple away from Pedro, and he'd let out a small noise at this._

_"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY!" She screeched at the bundle of fur. Soon after the words left her mouth the squirrel was once again attached to the bright red apple in her hand. _

_"No Pedro!" Trying to shake off the animal, she resulted in bumping into the side of the counter with her hip "FUCK"_

_"JUST GIVE ME MY FUCKING FRUIT, LADY!" The animal suddenly boomed as she desperately tried to get the fruit away from him._

_"No, ITS MY APPLE!" _

_"JUST GIVE UP, BITCH!" _

_Many more failed attempts & animal marks later, Pedro had managed to get the fruit and ran into one of the rooms and she locked him inside it._

_End of Flashback_

It had been many hours since that had happened and she was determined about one thing, she was going to train this animal if it was the last thing she did.

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Zelena paced in her room, extremely worried for her date for her date tonight.

'What will she think of me?' 'Will she still think im crazy?' Those were the only thoughts running through her head as she stood there staring at herself in the mirror. All those thoughts were quickly interrupted as something unexpected happened.

"STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT DOG! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE MEEEEE!" Glinda screamed as she burst out of Zelena's closet.

"First of all, no I don't. And secondly, your in my closet... Are you begging for me to make a lesbian joke right now?" She spoke in a voice devoid of any emotion.

"IM NOT A LESBIAN I JUST KNOW YOU LOVE ME!" The blonde screamed angrily.

"Again, says the woman standing in my closet in my house who is screaming at me to love her. SO NOT A LESBIAN!"

"Who the fuck are you sc- oh. Its the lezzy in denial" Regina spoke with a smirk as she waltzed into her sisters bedroom in nothing but a tank top and running shorts. Her hair practically screamed that she had just had sex, but Zelena had gotten over that after a while.

Glinda's eyes widened as she saw the outfit Regina was sporting and remembered what she had said.

"I-Im not a-" Glinda started, but was cut off.

"YES YOU ARE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY BABY SISTER LIKE THAT! GO BACK IN YOUR CLOSET YOU GIANT LESBIAN!" Zelena screamed, making Glinda slam the door to the closet as fast as she possibly could.

"So, why are you here, Regi?" She finally spoke as she turned away from the door to her closet.

"I know you were freaking out and didn't know what to make Ruby so I brought you some things. Emma and Ruby are pretty close so she know's what Ruby likes." The brunette said as she walked into the kitchen and pulled out food from a paper bag.

"Red wine, Pork chops and Potatoes? Simple enough." Zelena made her way to the stove and turned up the heat so she could cook the food for later. Once she had begun to cook she turned to her little sister who was peeling potatoes and putting them in a pot of boiling water.

"Thanks for this, Regi. I think I can take it from here." She spoke with a smile and Regina nodded, hugging her sister before she left. "Good luck, Z. I know she'll love it!" Was the last thing the tall woman heard before the brunette exited her home.

"MY POOR BABIES!" A foreign voice screamed from behind her and she wipped around to see a potato standing on her counter looking into the pot of boiling water.

"WHERE THE FUCK DID REGINA BUY YOU!?" Zelena made to grab the potato but she jumped and landed on the counter with an 'oof'.

"HOW DARE YOU KILL MY CHILDREN, WENCH!" The potato charged at her and jumped on her face, but the potato was weak and Zelena pryed the food from her face and held her down on the cutting board.

"BECAUSE YOUR DELICIOUS AND MY WOLF LOVES YOUR FLAVOR!" She said before grabbing the knife next to her hand.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" The knife was brought down into the middle of the potato, cutting her in half. Zelena happily putting the potato in the pot of water with a 'plop'.

"Now, this should be ready soon enough." The ginger haired woman spoke with a smile as she went back to cooking.

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Snow walked into Granny's not really caring how horrible looked. As she sat down at the bar, Ruby gasped as she took in the sight of her friend.

"Snow, what the hell happened?" She spoke with genuine concern as she took in the scratches on her face.

"My squirrel from hell happened." She replied shortly, not wanting to really talk about it.

"SNOW FUCKING WHITE HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING HOME SQUIRRELS AGAIN!?" Granny screamed as she walked out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hands.

Snow winced at Granny's booming voice, she shouldn't have said anything. She should have known Granny would find out sooner or later.

"YEAH I HAVE BEEN AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME!" The pixie haired woman screamed as she ran from the diner.

"Well shit, Elvira. What did you do?" Cora spoke up from the other end of the bar, the smallest hint of a smirk on her face.

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- About 3 hours later -

Ruby and Zelena sat on a blanket watching the stars as they ate their food. Ruby smiled as she bit into a pork chop, Emma had probably tipped Zelena off about her favorite food.

"This is amazing, Zelena. Im so happy that you asked me out... Im too chicken" She let out a nervous laugh as she saw the other woman look at her with a smile.

"I had been cowering as well, dear. But I was in a good mood and thought 'Oh, what the hell do I have to lose?'" Zelena spoke in her thick accent, a sparkle in her eyes as she looked at the beautiful brunette before her.

"Well, im glad you were in a good mood." As the words reached the other woman's ears she let out a laugh, not a mocking laugh, but a laugh of pure joy. Ruby closed her eyes for a brief moment, taking in the angellic noise of Zelena's laugh.

"Me too." She spoke and began to close the gap between them, and Ruby did the same eagerly. Her eyes closing as her lips were inches away from Zelena's.

"OW!" Was the scream from nearby, causing them to spring apart.

"SORRY!" Was another scream.

"ELSA?!" Zelena screamed as she realized who it was, and the bleach blonde stepped out into the moonlight.

"MALEFICENT!?" Ruby screamed, making the other blonde step out of her hiding place as well.

"What the fucking fuck, girls!" Zelena looked at them quite annoyed, and Elsa smiled a bit before speaking.

"You guys are so cute, we just wanted to witness your first date. We would have too if MAL WOULDN'T HAVE GOT HER FUCKING BRACELET CAUGHT IN MY HAIR!" The bleach blonde sent Maleficent a glare before turning back to the two.

"IM SORRY OKAY, I SCREWED UP! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR!?" The other woman erupted.

"Yes, it was." And with that, a light kiss was placed on her cheek.

"Guys, we're still on a date here.." Ruby spoke up and the girls nodded and poofed away quickly.

"Now, I believe I was about to kiss you." Zelena spoke with a smile, at which Ruby smiled back.

"Yes, you were." Ruby leaned into Zelena and pressed their lips together. Instantly, Zelena melted into the kiss; their lips in perfect syncronization. The kisses became heated and extremely passionate; but went no furthur. All they did was lay there and kiss each other in the moonlight.

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**Thats the chapter! I hope you enjoyed, and im sorry it took so long to update. I am now on summer break so I will be updating quicker! **

**Dont forget to R&R and prompt me! Have a great week, loves! **


	3. Flying Toasters & Broom Fights

**Hello my loves! **

**I apologize for not updating, I have another fic and have been working on it currently. I also have been quite busy, but its summer so I will update as soon as possible!**

**Enjoy!**

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**1 week later... **

Zelena and Ruby couldn't get enough of each other, practically inseperable. Zelena walked into the diner at 5pm to pick up her...girlfriend?

Zelena didn't really know, even though the whole town knew of the fact that they were dating they hadn't labeled anything yet.

"MY BITCH, IM HERE!" Zelena screamed, not caring who in the diner heard her.. unless Granny was here. Zelena started to panic internally, Granny wasn't going to like this. But Ruby walked out and hugged her and placed a kiss on her lips.

"Hey, Z. My shift just ended. Your place or mine?" Ruby said with a smile and a small eyebrow wiggle.

"Actually, neither. I want-" She was cut off when she was wacked in the head with the end of a broom. Zelena had her back turned toward the kitchen doorway, so she hadn't seen Granny come up behind her with the broom and Ruby had been so concentrated on staring at Zelena that she hadn't either.

Being wacked in the head with a broom didn't exactly feel nice, and Granny delivered a surprisingly hard blow. Zelena was knocked off her feet and Granny kept hitting her with the broom.

"WHAT HAVE A TOLD YOU ABOUT SCREAMING IN MY DINER, WITCH BITCH!" The elder woman screamed, bringing down the end of the broom in another swift blow.

"I DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR ORDERS, YOU OLD BAT!" Zelena conjured up her own broom and stood, fighting the woman. It was much like a sword fight, except with brooms.

"DON'T YOU DARE INSULT ME IN MY OWN DINER!" Granny made a move to disarm Zelena, but failed when she was hit in the side with the witch's broom.

"OH I DARE!" That's when Zelena charged at the elder woman with all her might.

"FOR STORYBROOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!" Granny screamed as she ran to meet the other woman.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Ruby screamed, deciding it was quite fun to play along.

Before either woman could meet in the middle, their brooms dissapeared; causing the two to run into each other and fall right on their backs. Ruby scrambled to help Zelena up while Granny huffed and got up herself.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THIS." A loud and very angry scream was heard from the doorway of the diner, and all heads turned to see the angry expression of none other than Cora Mills.

Nobody moved a muscle as she walked over to her daughter and girlfriend, grabbing them both by their hair. Zelena and Granny both letting out a hiss as Cora yanked on their hair.

"I HAVE TOLD BOTH OF YOU TO GET ALONG! NOW GET ALONG OR I WILL TIE YOU TOGETHER AND FORCE YOU TO SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER! UNDERSTOOD!?" Both women nodded eagerly and Cora let them go. Zelena ran back to Ruby and they left quickly before anything else could happen. Granny cowered into her girlfriend's shoulder, trying to test how angry she was. Cora didn't push her away, so she pecked her on the cheek and went back to work.

"Wow. I have some pretty crazy bitches as family." Cora muttered as she sat down at the counter, drinking from a bottle of tequila she had just pulled from her jacket pocket.

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It had been the first time Regina or Henry had seen Frozen, and Emma had made a mistake by letting them watch it.

Henry had liked it, but went off on a rant of how the Elsa he knew didn't go and sing on mountain tops, though she did have magic. Regina, however was silent. She had been throughout the entire movie and it was worrying Emma a bit. The blonde had seen Regina cry silently during certain parts of the movie.

As Henry left the room to go to bed, Regina slowly turned to look at Emma. Her face was serious as she looked at Emma.

The silence was broken when Regina started to sing, but it was definitely NOT the words from the movie. "Do you wanna build a fuck fort?" She sing-songed before they both burst into laughter.

Regina stood up, taking the blonde's hand and leading her upstairs to their bedroom.

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Maleficent sat in the middle of the small house she shared with Elsa. She was really hungry, and still wasn't used to the new technoligy. Last time she was in her dragon form. She went over to the toaster, remembering that she had to put bread in it and push down on the lever; and she did so.

It was only about a minute before the toast popped up, and she definitely wasn't prepared for that. As the toast popped, the blonde jumped and screeched.

"WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?!" Suddenly the toaster spread wings and tried to fly away, only resulting in knocking down the curtains and creating a whole in the wall as the toaster tried to desperately get away.

"Mal?" Elsa was standing in the doorway, still looking completely tired with a hint of annoyance on her face.

"I was hungry, and it scared me.." Maleficent looked down in shame as the other blonde began walking around the kitchen and preparing breakfast. She was certainly going to take a while to get used to this.

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Snow sat in her apartment once again, staring face to face with Pedro. The new squirrel she had deemed 'Her Squirrel From Hell'. Charming walked in and noticed his wife staring at the animal.

"Snow?" He spoke gently, hoping not to startle her. Failing as her hand whipped out to the side on instinct and smacked him right in the nose.

"AGH. SNOW WHAT THE FUCK!" He yelled as he fell to the floor, but Snow didn't move a muscle. She remained in the exact same place as before, looking into the eyes of the demon across from her.

She would not let this animal get the best of her again.


	4. Authors Note

**Hey guys, I have not forgotten about you! I just wanted to imform you that updates will not be very frequent. My summer is very busy, and I'm working on 2 fanfictions at once. I do hope to update soon, thank you to all of you who have favorited, followed, & reviewed on this story. You are what keeps me going! Thanks so much. **

**- Han**


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